


What We Hold Inside

by YaoiAddiction



Series: What We Choose to Do [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Could be seen without it though, Disgusting Stuff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Just a hint of Fontcest, M/M, Mental Instability, Mental Suicide, Pain, Support, US!Alphys - Freeform, US!Papryus, US!Sans, US!Undyne - Freeform, Very Slight Romance, underswap - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-27 15:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6289720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaoiAddiction/pseuds/YaoiAddiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A child before the protagonist killed Sans at the foggy pass. The world kept turning.</p><p>This is a tale about trying to catch up with that world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What We Hold Inside

Alphys watched the nodded figure carrying bags of groceries as he made his way across the fields of waterfall. There was something wrong with his steps, and the bags were weighing him down more than usual. If the skeleton would of had any muscles, Alphys was sure they would be straining. The large monster pondered for only a second before rushing over to Papyrus with a determined look on her face.

“Let me help you.” 

It wasn’t a question but a command. Without any hesitation, the skeleton handed her one of he bags. One quick look inside confirmed there were nothing but honey bottles inside.

“You got any actual food in that bag?” She gruffly asked as they crossed the boarder. 

“Yes.” 

“I thought you could teleport?” 

“I didn’t feel like it today.” A lie that seemed rehearsed, a glance that appeared confused for the evasion.

As they cut through the dense fog, Alphys gazed at the small cross made of bones still propped up in the snow. A tattered blue scarf clung to the solid mass like a dead leaf in harsh winds. The pain tore through her heart. Papyrus marched on.

When the duo arrived at the house, Alphys took note of the shallow breaths Papyrus gave off as he opened the door to his home. The signs of lack of magical substance taking a tole on his bones and energy. As she stepped forward, she could barely see inside. The living room was shrouded in darkness. The only lights that could be made out were the ones in the kitchen. 

“I didn’t invite you to stay. Just drop them on the table then you can leave. Thanks… for the help.” 

The harsh force Alphys slammed the bottles jostled the empty ones along the table. Sniffing the air, she picked up a sour odor coming from an undefined source. With a disgusted growl, she stalked up to the tall figure and grabbed him by the scruff of his hoodie. 

“Something’s not right around here. Papyrus, just tell me what’s wrong! Ever since Sans turned to du-“ 

“Alphys,” Papyrus growled as his eye flared into a bright orange.

“What are you going to do punk? You going to scare me like you did those poor kids last week?” 

—————————————

(The young children had no idea of the smaller skeletons passing. The group gathered their courage to ask the older sibling of the two where the other was. The dead stare with the orange burst of power had the monsters cowering in fear. He had walked away to leave them alone in the snow.)

—————————————

“Your so clearly in denial! How are you even surviving drinking this garbage! I know this is hard for you, but Undyne and I…. we’re…. here for you.” 

The tears threatened to fall, the sneer on her face starting to fall with the emotion she was displaying to try and snap the other out of his rage. As if in deep thought, the power from the other calmed to a more relax state and the tense way he had held his bones relaxed a tad. 

“Alphys, I don’t know what your talking about. I’m just drinking until dinner is ready. What’s wrong with indulging a little?” 

“What do you mean until dinner’s ready? Who’s making…..” 

The answer hit her like a ton of bricks. Carefully she set the other down and backed up in horror. Papyrus straightened himself out and went back to opening the groceries.

“I should of told you. You must of been worried. He can’t make it to practice until he gets better after all.”

—————————————

(“Sans, Undyne reported spotting a human near your area. It seems to be wearing a tall hat and holding a small rectangular shape. Be careful of it!” 

“Don’t worry Alphys! With your training, I’m sure I can peacefully capture the human if it eludes all my traps!” 

“You better report back to me if they slip past you punk!” 

“Nothing can slip past the Amazing Sans! Muehehehe!”)

—————————————

“Whats wrong Alphys? I’m sure Sans will love it if you joined us in watching some NBT? Company might make him feel better.” 

Papyrus opened the fridge, causing an assorted array of rotten foods to fall from inside and hit the floor in a sickening pile of mush. She took another step back.

—————————————

(Rushing towards Snowdin, Alphys panted as she ran. The stings from the child had hurt her, but she kept running for the cold climate area. Sans had never arrived with his report. No calls had been made. As she stops at the foggy pass, she could finally see why. 

A pile of dust lay at her feet with the phone partially buried in the corner. Bones from attacks littered the area around the disaster. Papyrus stood facing the river with his hands in his pockets, face hidden from view. With a choking sob, Alphys texted Undyne to bring the supplies needed as she marked her fallen student’s resting place with the bones he used. 

After her small work was done, Alphys looked up to see Papyrus walking away from the scene. 

He never looked back.)

—————————————

She had never felt this feeling before as she made her way to the living room. As Papyrus followed her, his eye flared back up, causing the light to shine on the lump on the couch. Her stomach was about to eject her lunch.

—————————————

(With a heavy heart, Undyne and Alphys stopped at the door of the tall christmas decorated home. The lights appeared off, but they both knew he still dwelled inside. 

The smaller of the two rang the bell. But nobody came. 

The taller of the two hit the door with two strong knocks enough to splinter a few pieces of wood. But nobody came. 

Giving up with regret, the pair set down with care the small jar of dust and the folded clothes of their fallen friend. As they left to go back home, the door finally cracked open.)

—————————————

A soggy mess lay on the far left, clothed in the battle armor of her fallen former student. Only the scarf and cape appeared dry. It stayed propped up against more pillows as if to keep it comfortable. The world started spinning for the warrior as she glanced back to Papyrus in horror. A sick and twisted grin lay across his features. 

“No need to be so horrified Alphys. Its not like he’s dust or anything. He’s just tired. I’m sure when he’s all rested things will be looking up for the both of us.” 

“Papryus! Stop! What is going on in that head of yours?” She cried out as she summoned a lightning bolt in the hand that wasn’t curled into a fist. Options and scenarios flew through her head at breakneck speed. Desperate to save her other friend and snap him out of his delirium, she decided to go with her reckless choice. 

“Theres nothing wrong with me. Isn’t that right bro?” 

A pause of silence occupied the room, followed by a cackling laugh from the only skeleton. The sound grated Alphys ears. “Hehe, he always knows what to say. Isn’t my bro cool?” 

“That’s….” not your brother, she wanted to say. But the way Papyrus started slowly advancing on her caused her to stop. One wrong word and she could be a dead monster in seconds. Despite being weak and unstable, Papyrus was ready to fight for his brothers life, even if he wasn’t truly there. 

“I’m going to knock some sense into you if its the last thing I do!” 

He tilted his skull to the side, malnourished bones creaking from the strain. “Alphys, come on. We both know you can’t hurt me. An besides, you promised Sans. You wouldn’t want to break his promise right in front of him would you?” 

“He’s DEAD Papyrus!” She risked saying the word in aggravation and panic. The moment of unrestrained anguish was all she needed to bolt for the pillow. Ignoring the state it was in, she leapt for the nearest window, sending a rain of glass out into the snow.

Despite pricking her feet on the shards, she kept running towards the outskirts of town. 

The sound that followed her she had never heard any monster make before. 

XXX

She stopped at the edge of the bridge and held it over the edge, watching the soggy water drip from the object and fall to the long drop below. 

The choked cries of her onlooker caused her to pause. Daring to look, Alphys turned her head towards the skeleton. Most of his energy used up, the only thing he could do was try to use his arms to crawl towards her. The magic in his eye flickered on and off like a dying light as he tried to desperately save the object in her hand. 

“Why? Alphys? I thought you were Sans’ friend? Why are you trying to kill him? Is this a joke? Please….. please give him back. We can all go back home and talk this out.” 

The sincerity in his voice felt like a knife to her chest. “He’s gone. I don’t know why you…. I should of been here sooner. Undyne should of told me something! This isn’t fair to you or him. I’m going to fix this issue. This thing needs to go. You need to let Sans go!” 

Tears were falling from the pair as they looked into each other’s eyes. Papyrus never gave up his crawl, the snow turning into a dirty trail behind him. One hand outstretched, he attempted to summon a Blaster. The broken dry mess that materialized above him flickered on and off with the owners power fluctuation, gathering a sickly pale orange energy to fire at its target. 

“Alphys…. give me back my brother.” 

“I won’t, please understand…”

With finality, Alphys let go of the bundle. 

“NO!” Papyrus cried in pain, flashing his eye as he pushed himself up and darted forward. Without concentration, the Blaster fired blindly. Instead of hitting the towering orange lizard, it punched a hole through the soggy pillow before it made its descent. 

Wide eyes watched the trail of dust fly from the inside of the casing as it fell into the abyss below. Acting with quick reflexes, she grabbed Papyrus before he could launch himself off the cliff, holding him in her iron grip. 

“Sans…. Sans…. no… you killed him… I killed him…. Sans…. what…. what is…?”

Whatever had kept Papyrus together started to shatter as he clutched the arms that held him and gave a cry that the entire Underground could hear. Alphys made the second worst phone call in her entire life as she held her only other friend in her embrace.

He was still screaming when help finally came.


	2. What We Need to Hold Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh... I wish I didn't feel so down.... but... if I didn't feel down I wouldn't of wrote this I guess?
> 
> I have a tumblr called yaoiaddictionstar if anyone wants to follow me? I mostly post fan art for other peoples stories and fan art though ^^
> 
> Enjoy this last chapter, or not, you can hate me too if you want. ; ^ ;

The lights were dim and the wind was howling outside. The lone warrior sat outside her home and worried over the condition of her friend. She watched as the echo flowers fluttered in the chaotic storm. A few of the petal were ripped from the main bulbs and thrown across the cave in a flurry of movement. With her one good eye, Alphys tracked them with numb fascination. A million thoughts were circling her head, but none seemed to be helping her state of mind. After a while, she felt a smaller body sit next to her and sigh softly. The silence continued for a short period of time until Undyne decided to finally speak.

“A-alphys? If you want to ask me anything, you can. I-I’m here for you and…. P-papyrus.”

The stronger of the two buried her head in her arms and drew her and glared at the ground. “I don’t understand why he didn’t come to us. There’s something I’m missing. Undyne, I’m not used to feeling so…. useless….”

“N-no no! Y-your not useless! If theres anyone thats useless, it w-would be me.”

Before the other could object, Undyne put a shaky hand on her friend’s shoulder and tried to look the her in her only good eye. “But maybe together we can be of use to him now. We just need him to wake up. T-then we can do something.”

“What will that something be? I’ve never known Papyrus to be this…… breakable. He was always the stronger of the two. I’m going to figure this out and give that bonehead a piece of my mind!”

At the end of her rant, Alphys had stood up and started proclaiming to the extending tunnel, fist in front of her face with a fire alight in her eye. As she turned around she could make out the lovestruck stare the scientific amphibian was making before it disappeared in a sea of blushing and eye darting.

“U-uh…. glad to see your back A-alphys. W-we should go check on him.”

Before the two made it past the boarder of Waterfall, they heard a shout from behind and the pattering of small feet getting closer and closer. 

Turning around, their sight was greeted with a small monster kid in a brown and yellow shirt. In his tail he held a bundle of echo flowers wrapped in paper.

“Yo, I… uh... huff… wanted to give these to the tall skeleton dude! I know they won’t last long, but I wanted to say some nice things for him. Cause… you know…. he’s been a bit down since his brother went away on that trip. Will you guys give these to him?”

Alphys bent down to take the flowers from his grasp and lay a large hand over the other with a firm pat. “Sure thing! He’ll like these.”

The stars in his eyes from witnessing his idol tore at her heart, reminding her of the former smaller skeleton. Trying to keep herself in check, the Captain of the Royal Guard got back up and made her way back to her companion. Nodding at Undyne, the two walked back to Hotland hand in hand.

 

* * *

 

 

The darkness greeted the pair as they made way to the makeshift couch. A small monitor kept track of the magic flowing through the comatose skeleton in a white sheet. Alphys shivered as she remembered throwing the soiled hoodie and pants into the lava below, watching them burn. Despite knowing they were beyond repair and that Papyrus had extras, if felt to her like something was being lost by exterminating the reminder of that fateful day.

“P-put the flowers next to him. I’ll get to work on making sure everything is going okay. Hopefully we can do more good when his magic levels stabilize again”

Alphys placed the blue plants next to the others skull and made her way with Undyne to the lab, growling to herself as she stomped on. The lab doors slid shut behind the pair, leaving the silent patient alone again. Only the soft echo of the flowers remained.

 

* * *

 

_I… where am I? Whats going on? I was just…._

 

_Yo….s….t_

 

_Huh? Who’s there?_

 

_Yo…r…so….at_

 

_I? what? Speak louder!_

 

_Yo..ur so…great_

 

_I am?_

 

_Your so great. Don't worry I’m sure he’ll come back. Everything will be okay. Stay strong_

 

**Stay Determined**

 

_Wait, Sans? Is that you. If I’m so great, why did you leave?_

 

_I’m the_ ~~_mag….nificet….sans…._ ~~ _Great Papyrus after all. Why did you leave?_

 

_Your so cool bro… your so cool…. then if I’m cool why did you go away._

 

_i’ll be back soon, don't worry bro. everything will be okay.  _

 

_No… no….. I can’t…. i CAN”T wait FOR you FOREVER_

 

_i’ll be at muffets if you need me/paps, your so cool bro/ i’ll be back to’marrow’ don’t worry/papyrus?_

 

_SANS! DON’T GO! PLEASE COME BACK._

 

_you going to wait for me to come back?_

 

_YES! OF COURSE!_

 

_hehe… thanks bro...see you soon…_

 

_._

 

_.._

 

_…_

 

_….._

 

_……_

 

He woke up to the sound of sirens.

 

XXX

“….yrus! Papyrus! Wake up!”

Scrambling awake, the spooked skeleton turned his cranium to face the raging dinosaur who looked like she was sweating bullets. Behind her Undyne was shivering and furiously tinkering with a small device in her hands. The little machine continued to give off a small distressed noise. With an exasperated sigh, Alphys sank down and pulled the other into a hug, being careful of the ribs the other had.

“You idiot! We’re going to have a lot to talk about later! Come talk to us before you decide to do anything crazy!”

Papyrus tilted his head in confusion as he returned the hug, trying to remember why he was at Hotland and not back home. “WHAT WAS I DOING THAT WAS CRAZY ALPHYS?”

Both girls froze in fear as they heard his words. The room left like it had entered a time bubble were it couldn’t not move forward for in fear of causing a panic. When one else volunteered to speak, Papyrus kept talking with a bright smile.

“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BATTLE BODY? IT MUST OF GOTTEN DIRTY. I SHOULD PROBABLY DO THE LAUNDRY BEFORE SANS GETS HOME.”

With as much control as she would muster, the furious royal guard pulled Undyne to the elevator and waved nervously at Papyrus while moving up to the workshop.

“Don’t worry about any of that right now focus on recovering until your at full power! I just need to ask Undyne something really fast.”

“OKAY! I’LL BE DOWN HERE!” He replied with a jolly wave back.

 

* * *

 

 

“Uh…. A-alphys?”

A computer went sailing across the room

“C-could we just talk c-calmly?”

Half a desk soared into the wall.

“Ngggaaahhh! What is going on!? His voice! His stupid voice!!!! Why is he talking so loud? And acting like Sans just got up and left? Is this is some amnesia junk I’m going to beat him senseless!”

In a rush of panic Undyne ran up to Alphys and attempted to grab one muscular arm, squeezing with all her might. “N-no! W-we can’t do t-that! I have a theory…. p-please hear me out?”

Reluctantly, Alphys calmed down enough to face the scientist again and gave a toothy grin. “Fine, lets hear it.”

Pulling herself off the other, Undyne walked over to her computer and started filing away the data from the soul monitor.

“This might be a way of self coping. His magic levels were dropping rapidly, which may be the reason why…. he s-survived and didn’t turn into dust. Somehow he must of gotten the idea to think that Sans just l-left us and might come back. Its almost…. like he’s projecting himself onto his brother.” 

“So in his head….. he’s the hyperactive fun-loving one and sans is the lazy smoker who tells jokes and drinks honey?”

Undyne face palmed and slumped in her chair as the other finished speaking. “Well… when y-you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous, but I…. I f-fear the worst. If he stops using this c-coping mechanism we might lose him for good. W-we a-almost lost him before.” 

“I don’t want to lie to him! The coward! The wimp! He’s just running away! Trying to replace his own brother with himself? Its sickening! I’m going to tell him exactly whats going on!”

As she opened the door, the sight on the couch made her pause. Despite still being weak on low magic,  Papyrus was still sitting up and hugging the bundle of echo flowers close to himself. Bouncing in place, the taller skeleton gave a small “NYE-HEH-HEH” to himself in joy. 

“Alphys? A-alphys? A-are you o-okay?”

Without revealing the expression on her face, she calmly closed the door and turned back around to lean it with a defeated aura surrounding her.

“He’ll recover his magic and get better. I’m telling him then. I don’t want…..” A dark house decaying with time and vacancy. The slow days of training alone. The children wondering why their neighbors had disappeared. Another pile of dust at the bottom of the ravine. “…to lose any more friends.”

With a shaky breath, she slid down to the floor and clenched her fists in rage. “Its not fair! This shouldn’t of happened! None of this should of ever happened. And now…”

Without another word, Undyne knelt down and pulled her only friend left into a hug. They both stayed on the floor together organizing the set up to keep their guest in the dark about what had really happened to his life.

The two skeletons of Snowdin died that day, to be replaced with a new one.

 

* * *

 

The house with the help of many monsters was cleaned and reorganized to look like its former self. The items of Sans’ and Papyrus’ rooms were placed in a way that gave no hint to one being owned by the other. Both of their clothes were stored in boxes by Undyne who assured Alphys that they would never be seen by the outside world. 

The royal guard stopped at the familiar cliffside and looked town below. The ruse had been set, the town had been informed, and the lie was slowly working its magic. Papyrus would move back into his home tomorrow, completely unaware of the events that had taken place. With a nervous but forceful chuckle, Alphys started talking in the direction her former friend had went off the cliff.

“Hey brat. This will probably be the last time I visit before your brother moves in. Wouldn’t want him seeing me here right? He says he misses your jokes. This is all so twisted and sick! Its all your fault you little punk! I…. no, this isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I should of been there for him. All this talk of our hearts beating as one and the unity of all monsters, when I couldn’t realize what was going on in his heart. Want to hear something interesting? Apparently Papyrus has a crush on you. It would be cute…. except I’m not really sure if its really him or, uh, the person he used to be.”

Snow was kicked into the abyss below. A clawed hand slowly left the pocket of her snow jacket to reveal a container with two burnt looking tacos inside.

“I’m teaching him how to cook. Since he thinks he’s you he keeps wanting to be part of the royal guard. Hopefully I can keep him away from that sort of thing. But… I made these one more time, for you. Hope you an take that as an apology for… throwing you off the cliff?”

She tilt her outstretched hand to tip the container. As it fell, Alphys gave a deep laugh that echoed across the stretch of land uncluttered by pine trees.

“Sorry they’re burnt. You alway made them better than I ever could, you cheeky brat.”

After a short while, she sat down to dangle her feet off the edge, watching the ceiling of their imprisonment.

“He’s finally better. I was going to tell him the truth today. I was dead set on it. But… I can’t…. I could still lose him too. Not sure you would appreciate it if your brother just turned into a pile of dust on my watch. I’ll keep him safe for as long as I can. I hope you can forgive me… I hope the old Papyrus can forgive me too. If it helps, I’ll never forget you both. I’ll keep your memories with me until I disappear.”

Her world was filled again with nothing but silence, until she was saved again.

“Alphys! Papyrus is coming! W-we have to go!”

“Okay okay! I'll be right there!”

Shuffling to her feet, she got up to brush the snow off her jeans before hunching her shoulders and lifting her hand as a final goodbye.

“I hope you don’t mind I borrowed something from the old Papyrus. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind this once. I’m mourning you both after all… well… goodbye Sans…”

As she walked away, tail making a small track of snow, the wisps of cigarette smoke could be seen before it was swept away by the ever-present wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again... I'm sorry...
> 
> Next part of the series I do have planned, but I won't write it for a little while. Its already all thought out though so if you want to stay tuned, feel free :) Thank you guys for reading! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry for this! ;.;


End file.
